How to Fuck Up a Volleyball Game
by spoopythekiller
Summary: Hikaru and Kaoru have finally gotten a day off the Host Club! They head to the beach, but what horrors shall they commit whilst out there? The question is, what don't they do? (Rating only for language, one-shot.)


Hikaru looked up as the sun beat down on them. The redheaded boy put down his towel, and watched his twin brother, Kaoru, do the same. "Glad we went today?" asked Hikaru, watching the sea in front of them.

"You betcha," replied Kaoru, and smiled as he gazed up at the clouds. The waves were coming in, slowly and steadily. There were all but a few clouds in the sky, and there were beachgoers this way and that talking about many things. In between them was a bag of chips inside of a larger tote bag, in case one of them decided to get hungry in a few hours or so. A few swimmers swum in the water before them, occasionally dunking one another into the water. He could hear someone hollering, and then a loud _splash_! But, he didn't care about those, as he dozed off, the scene becoming obscure as he closed his eyes and slept...

Kaoru felt a sudden scratch on his arm. "Yeaaaaoh!" he screeched, and opened his eyes. He swatted at the gray seagull that had landed on his arm. "Get off, fucker!" he yelled, and the seagull disappeared in a swarm of feathers and wings. Kaoru sat up, and looked ahead. "Hikaru?" he asked.

"What is it?" replied Hikaru, on his stomach.

"Watch out for seagulls," meekly replied Kaoru, and lay back down on his stomach, just as Hikaru did.

"You're such a copycat, Kaoru," replied Hikaru in an amused tone. "What am I to do with you?"

"You know what you want to do with me," smirked Kaoru.

"I know! Let's go fuck with someone else's shit!" Hikaru replied excitedly.

"That's more like it," replied Kaoru as he got up and high-fived Hikaru, who was more than happy to oblige. "Now then. Which game shall we do?" he asked, scanning the beach for a well-organized party. Kaoru did the same, shielding his face from the sun. He picked up his towel, and put it in the bag with the chips. "Won't be needing this anymore," he sighed.

"All with good reasoning, I guess," replied Hikaru, and stuffed his towel in the bag as well. He picked up the bag, and set off, Kaoru following close behind.

Soon enough, they got to a well-organized game of beach volleyball, over by the ledge this beach was set on. In the far back, there was a scoreboard keeping score for every team, every game on the courts. There were quite a few people playing, ranging in size, age, and gender. Not only that, but there was more than one court to mess with. On the upper hand, they could mess with more people at a time, but on the other hand... something may go wrong, and then shit would hit the fan. Kaoru shuddered. He remembered that feeling, and walked away with disgust.

Hikaru, meanwhile, was watching the whole games go on. The one he was closest to was a game of some of the taller people, but they seemed like the sort who wouldn't get revenge for anything, the sort that roars in anger when they get it. A blonde boy hit the ball near him, and Kaoru pulled him away from the stands. "Hika, stop," he instructed. "We need to stay away, look normal, and think up a plan."

"What plan shall it be?" asked Hikaru.

"We shall find out," answered Kaoru. The two sat in silence, watching the waves and the people in them. As soon as one boy was taken down by two of the other swimmers, and idea crossed Kaoru's mind. "Hika?" he asked.

"Are you telling me you have..."

"Oh, I have."

Hikaru leaned in as he listened to the idea that Kaoru had come up with. He shrugged. "Good enough, I suppose," he nodded.

Kaoru hopped off, and Hikaru followed him. Soon, they reached an area where the reeds covered their faces and they couldn't be seen. "Ready?" Kaoru whispered.

"Always ready," replied Hikaru.

Kaoru got up and strode out of the bushes, Hikaru close beside him. He approached the players, and walked onto their field. He stood close to one of the players, the one who seemed to be doing the most work for her team. "Excuse me?" she asked. "I'm getting the-"

Kaoru noticed that there was a ball flying out at him. He shut his eyes, and batted at it as hard as he could. The ball flew back, and another person got the ball. In another shot, it was over the net again. Kaoru gazed at the ball in astoundment, as the people tossed it back and forth. He glanced at Hikaru, and he dashed into the game. He took his place by the person who was doing the next most, a small-ish boy. "What are you doing?" he asked. "This is no place for a shrimp like you."

"Really?" replied Hikaru, standing next to him. "Shrimp eat plankton, delicious."

The boy rolled his eyes, and got back into position. The ball bounced back and forth, and back and forth while the team got them. "Excuse me?" piped up Kaoru after a while.

"What is it now?" sighed the girl next to him.

"I think that I might have to... I might... Is that a bee?" asked Kaoru.

The team turned, and looked at him with disgust. "If you're going to barge in, at least play the game," sighed one of the guys.

"Please!"

"Come on!"

"But it's a pretty bee," sighed Kaoru, and drew himself closer to it. In all honesty, it was just a normal bee, but Kaoru watched it, entranced.

Meanwhile, while the team got up to drag Kaoru away, Hikaru picked up the ball. He bounced it up and down, on and off the sand repeatedly, and saw the numbers on the scoreboard go up for the other team. "Ah," he sighed. "Perfection."

Over by the bee, some people had gotten Kaoru up by his arms. He kicked and shouted. "Please! Can I see the bee?" he asked.

"No," replied a girl.

"But it's beautiful! Haven't any of you ever heard of bee-sexual?"

Just then, the team dropped Kaoru. They stared up at the board, and the numbers on it. Hikaru smiled up at them, the charming smile he had practiced from so many years at the Club. "What?!" screamed the girl.

"It's," began Hikaru. "Oh, it's nothing! Nothing at all, really."

The girl began to zoom after Hikaru ferociously, short blonde ponytail flying out. Kaoru followed close behind, not letting her get away with his brother. He pushed her down, out of the way, and she hit the sand. Hikaru and Kaoru ran away, not looking back at the infuriated team. At last, they got to a place where they were sure no one would look at them. "Kao?" asked Hikaru. "What shall we do next?"

Kaoru gazed at Hikaru. "Let's fuck up another game."


End file.
